The VW Transporter changed my life!!

The one and only rule of owning a VW van…. don’t ask “What can I do for the VW Transporter?” but “What can the VW Transporter do for me?”

2008 was my first experience of buying a van, and of course for me there was only one van that’s stood the test of time…… only one van that ages the best of them all, only one van that most people desire over other vans and that’s the VW Transporter.

BABY

We were having a baby and it was on the way….. not by post…… my wife was pregnant.  I wanted a vehicle that was friendly, good quality and looked cool.  Even though the T5 had been out for a few years, my budget at the time could only get me a T4…..and may I say, ‘there’s nothing wrong with that!’  I had found a nice one, a white panel van, it was a 2003 T4 Caravelle 888 special (oooooooohhh look at me!)  The 888 special had cruise control, captain seats and it had a longer nose on the front end, which was my preference.  I drove 150 miles to see it and knew ‘this was the one’, but still I struggled parting with the money….. why?  Because, I couldn’t quite get my head around buying a van as my main family vehicle.  My mind was still thinking vans were for builders, airport taxis and parcel deliveries (Silly me! Oooooooohhhhh silly silly me! )

T4

Once the VW Van was back in the Frantony house and grounds, my first job was to take the old ply out of the rear of the van and steam clean it.  Whilst that was drying, I cut out the panels for two side sliding windows and a rear window.  After fixing all the windows it was time to insulate the van with foil back bubble wrap, stuck on with spray adhesive.  The ply boards were carpeted, the floor had black and white chequered rubber tiles and a rear double seat was bolted in.  The outside had a re-spray and the old steel wheels were changed for a nice set of alloys (paid for by my acting job on the film, IronClad!)

IMAG0435

Having my son in the pram at the time was easy peesy lemon squeezy, as when it rained, we’d go in from the tailgate at the rear of the van….. it’s the size of a bus shelter.  We could lift the pram into the back, take him out of the pram and in to his travel child seat.  Close the tailgate from inside by the handle, hang my coat up on the hook, bungy strap the pram down and walk in between the captain seats…… and Voila! I’m in the driver seat…..and by the way, in all the time we had the pram, not once did I ever have to put it down.  I know, all parents with saloon cars and people carriers are saying ‘Can this be true?’  Why YES my friends….. would I lie to you??  Never!

There’s NO getting wet as you stand outside your car whilst trying to strap your child in the travel seat, as you frustratingly fold down the pram and ram it in to the boot over all the shopping and new clothes you’ve just purchased (Grrrrrrr!!…… I hear you say)

Then there’s the VW Transporter day out experience….. it was a day at the coast overlooking the beach with the sea glistening in the distance. The tailgate open, the kettle on the boil and……..wait for it…….in the frying pan next to the fresh warm bread and pack of real butter…….. was BACON, mmmmmmmm….. and lots of it!  This……. my friends, is a van of options and style!   But wait….. what made it all the more desirable…… parked next to us was a BMW 5 series.

BEACH

Lovely you might say but it didn’t look that good as we grinned, watching the couple face out the windscreen (for you beautiful American readers windshield) looking over their plastic Tupperware boxes on the dash, sipping tea from a flask in-between taking bites from a cold, drab ham sandwich.  Don’t get me wrong….. I love a ham sandwich……but not next to a hot bacon sandwich with real butter melting through the fresh warm bread and a freshly made cup of tea (no flask tangy taste on my watch!)  With a full belly from nice hot bacon sandwiches and hot tea, Mrs Frantony relaxed on the beach whilst my son played in the sand, and of course….there’s never a problem with space when changing back in to her clothes.  And as for sleeping in the van…. well, it’s lovely and comfortable, warm and never damp.

Now we’ve all experienced a bit of IKEA from time to time, and I’ve seen how people are so focused on what they want to buy and then FORGET how they’re going to get it home? I’ve seen this first hand whilst eating one of their hotdogs as I watched through the window down on to the car park.  They have one foot by the trolley wheel, stopping it from rolling away and stretching in and on top of the car making sure everything fits…… no matter how big the newly bought items are.

IKEA

Well, not me….. why?  Because I’ve got a VW Transporter van, the only problem that I have going to IKEA is that I’m happy to follow the arrows on the floor, write down what I need, find what I need in the store part of the shop, take it to my van and take it home to then build it up myself…..and I still go back……it’s like a big vending machine…..wait a minute this isn’t an IKEA blog….. Note to self  ‘Dave, write about that another time!’

Anyhoo…. back to the VW van, all was well until one winters night, a tree decided that after 140 years, it was time to lie down….. on my van! Whilst I laid naked sleeping like a starfish in my super king size bed.

STARFISH

And that Ladies and Gentlemen………was the end of my VW Transporter T4….. my lovely, lovely van that I was going to keep forever; it now was only good for posting through a letter box.  For five years after that, I travelled in the wilderness of having no van (you may feel for me at this point…….well go on then, I’m in tears as I write this).  My mind, my body ached for another VW Van, I was lost driving anything and everything due to my insurance doubling over night, even though it wasn’t anyone’s fault.  I was waking up in cold sweats knowing my body…. my soul needed another VW van…. I was getting close to wearing a straight jacket.  Then a day like no other, as I walked a lonely path with the sun on my back, I felt a strange tingle through my spine.  I looked up to the sky, I knew the VW Transporter Gods found favour with me, they took time out spoiling other people in the world with nice new VW vans and pulled out the Dave Frantony life file.

VW GODS

I was in the privileged position to buy a new VW T6 Transporter Combi van…..with extras!… and this didn’t mean garlic bread or onion rings, and for this I am grateful, very grateful!  Swivel seats, twin electric sliding doors and leisure battery.  It’s given us freedom like no other vehicle can.  A weekend camping trip is nice and easy, and my son who’s now eight years old loves it.  He’s more excited sleeping in the van than he has been in any Hotel we’ve stayed in.  Cooking the bacon sandwiches is still a joy, and being able to easily fit 3 mountain bikes in the back, driving to the coast or to different trails or to canals venturing along the tow paths is a privilege.  The captain seats are awesome…….I really do feel like Captain Kirk or Jean Luc Picard of the Starship enterprise driving along sitting in them.  I’ll be honest with you…..sometimes I even say to myself “Make it so, number one.”

It’s comfortable, you sit high up on the road, there’s hardly any difference in length to that of a family saloon car, yes it’s higher but that only makes it easier to see the road.  The VW Transporter gives you options and a life style that I am grateful for.  Even though it’s not as aero dynamic as a fighter jet, the MPG is very good……. it’s averaging 42mpg…… and I’ll prove it. Here are my calculations over many nights in front of the black board.

VW PUZZLE 2

And may I say……and this really happened, but only once when the conditions were right, as in the VW Gods were all happy and laughing, the Transporter was at its cleanest, the wind was dead centre behind the tailgate and the roads were quiet with not a pot hole to be seen and no insect flying in the sky and inadvertently unbeknown to them as they go about their daily deeds waiting to be squashed and weigh the windscreen down. Not to sound like a VW Transporter SUPER HERO, but on a long run we once had 52.5 mpg.

VW SUPERHERO

So that my friends, is my love of the VW Transporter van and my love goes deep…..so deep, I cannot see the bottom. So to all you VW Transporter owners out there……. take it easy…. don’t worry and live life to the full, venturing to places where no man or woman has gone before!!  Always remember, as the famous speech goes of Sir Winston Churchill in a parallel universe….

“We shall defend our VW van, whatever the cost may be; we shall drive them to the beaches, we shall drive them to the camping grounds, we shall drive them to any suitable, idyllic field and park them in the streets, we shall drive them to the hills (because the view is nice); we shall never surrender……. to any other van!”

T6.png

As ever on the Easy Blend, I’ll let you know what I’m listening to.  Today it’s Madcon feat. Ray Dalton, Don’t worry.

You can find out more about my book ‘Farrago: Ten Tall Tales’ and buy it here…. (click on the cover)

Full cover single

Until the next Easy Blend blog……….. 

Stay warm and fuzzy……..

signature

 

 

Advertisements

On a rally….? Really?

1988 and a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go and see a ‘night rally’ through the different stages in Brecon and Llandovery.

Forest.png

Of course the answer was YES, who doesn’t want to see a Rally?  Lots of fast cars with experienced drivers doing a 120mph through forestry, and let’s face it, the trees in the forestry normally only see a man walking his dog with a stick in its mouth on the weekend.

The rally started at 11pm, so we left around 9pm with a flask of tea, a

IMG_0100

packet of plain crisps and four cheese and Branston sandwiches tightly wrapped (tight enough that the crown jewels would have been safe).  It was dark, cold and no street lights were to be seen, it was the middle of Wales after all.  I looked the part as my mum and dad hadn’t long bought me a RS Rallye Sport jacket, all the rage back then, and by the way I still have it and it still fits…..!  If anyone else has one, they’re considered ‘vintage’ now and are worth a few bob!

Anyway, the car we were in ….now don’t forget

Fiesta

its 1988, it was the car that most people desired….a MK3 Ford Escort XR3i, in white with a black spoiler.  Yep I know….some of you who are old enough are nodding (YES Dave you are right….a nice car, my friend!)

Now one thing my friend didn’t tell me was that it was an AMATEUR Rally not a world class Rally with all the famous drivers and really, really, really fast cars……

Two worlds

Nope, these were Ford Escort MK2’s, Opel Manta’s, Vauxhall Chevette’s and Mini Metro’s and Talbot Sunbeams.  But please don’t get me wrong, they were fast, but a price of a professional Rally car can be in the hundreds of thousands of pounds, these cars were worlds apart.

When we arrived, a marshal gave us a small map with a time table of when and where each stage started and finished.  We drove on ahead of each stage, ready to find a spot to park and a spot to stand with a good view to watch the excitement.  The only worry I was supposed to have had for the night was when do I eat my cheese and Branston sandwiches?

BAD album cover

And not to spill my tea in the car (grey seats…..would have stained easy!)  On the stereo continuously playing from side ‘A’ to ‘B’ was the Michael Jackson album “BAD” (on tape of course), it had only been out a few months and still today when I hear any song from that album it reminds me of this Rally.

So, all was going well until my friend bumped into someone he sort of knew, whose friend was one of the drivers in the Rally, and this is what he said “Why don’t you follow me, I know these lanes like the back of my hand, I can take you to the best spots where nobody else will know.”

Hand

Well….. we did just that and we followed him, and before I go any further this man was driving a brand new MK3 Escort Estate 1.3L, in BEIGE of all colours.   I don’t care who you are or what year it is or was, even what car is on the planet at the time….. no-one sits in their house flicking through a brochure and saying to themselves, “Hmmmmmm……I think I’ll buy a new car and Ohhhhh YES….and I want it in Beige.”  And it had a brown interior.

Estate car.png

The ford Escort XR3i that we were in was a 1.6i and at the time it was a fast car so you’d think keeping up with this guy would be easy, well for a while it wasn’t.  He drove his own car like he had stolen it, like a raving lunatic!  He clearly, in his own demented head, thought he was on the actual Rally as a competitor.  Anyway, I had soon lost my appetite for the last

Hands over face

of my 2 cheese and Branston sandwiches and I daren’t even look at my flask of tea.

I knew things were now getting serious, because the stereo was turned off for full concentration and all of a sudden we could see 2 lights in the rear view mirror…..

Rear view

YEP, hurtling towards us from behind, at warp speed (and NO it wasn’t the Starship Enterprise) it was a Rally car in the middle of the stage which we are were also in the middle of!

In the nick of time the both cars pulled over to allow the Rally car pass, and then we moved on again knowing full well another Rally car would soon be behind us.  We were lost, the ‘FOOL’ in front of us had no idea where he was going and neither did we. I looked at my cheese and Branston sandwich

kitchen

thinking “Mother Frantony will shout at me if I waste them and she’ll shout at me if she finds out that I’m in a Rally in a normal car with normal seat belts no roll cage and no fire extinguisher and let’s not forget the helmet.   So the FOOL in front was speeding off around every bend in the lanes, then all of a sudden he was gone.  Then we saw him way ahead of us, only his car looked taller and thinner…… well, it was going

Car on side

to happen, he was in a ditch with his car on its side.

Standing on the seats with half his body out of the window we stopped, I thought brilliant “I’m going to be in the back and he’s going to want one of my cheese and Branston sandwiches.”  Luckily, he told us that he’d be okay and for us to drive on, so that’s exactly what we did.  5 miles later we drove in to Llandovery town and through the finish line with every one about to cheer but they just stared at us in disbelief instead.

Finish line

We didn’t hang around, so we headed straight home finishing off my cheese and Branston sandwiches along the way and by 7:30am I was tucked up in bed, I didn’t even clean my teeth but I was glad to be home.  I’ve never been on a Rally since; I find it far easier and safer to watch it on TV!  I have no idea who the FOOL was that we were following or even if he’s still in the ditch 28 years on!  Probably not, and of course he clearly had no idea what the back of his hand looked like!

As this is the Easy Blend, I‘d thought I’d let you know what I’m listening to.  Today it’s Michael Jackson – Man in the Mirror

You can find out more about my book ‘Farrago: Ten Tall Tales’ and buy it here…. (click on the cover)

Full cover single

Until the next Easy Blend blog……….. 

Stay warm and fuzzy……..

signature