So we’re in the Doctors surgery, my seven year old son had just been called over the speaker. I knocked the door as I entered (I’m a nice polite person you see). The Doctor was sitting on his chair. He was a big guy, unlike me (a small guy), but it looked like he was wearing one of my suits….his jacket sleeves were just past his elbows and his trousers were like shorts.
“Close the door! Are you the Dad?”
“Why, YES!” I answered, thinking that was a strange question!
“Hello little boy…..would you like some stickers?” My son looked at me then nodded YES. I’m sure you’re thinking the same as I was…. Batman, Spiderman, Sponge Bob, Angry Birds…….. But no…. this is what he meant by ‘stickers’.
My son looked back at me with the same look as I had on my face, thinking this Doctor clearly needs to order himself a tight fitting straight-jacket and change the magnolia paint on the walls for some padded cushions.
So after composing myself and explaining about my son’s Tonsillitis and that he’d had a bad run of it for over a year when he was much younger, the Doctor, from his short suit pocket, pulled out his mobile phone and switched on his flashlight app (I am now shocked to the core of my bones at what I am seeing!).
“Hmmmm….. I can’t see much?”
I thought to myself “DUH!”
There were two pieces of equipment on the wall to the side of me. “Dad, pass the trumpet looking one off the wall to me?”
Not knowing which one he meant, I took a guess. “NO, not that one! Does that look like a trumpet?”
At this point I decided that whatever respect I had for him had gone right out of the window. So for legal reasons, and for this story we’ll call him “Muppet”
“Well to be fair ‘Muppet’…. technically….. none of them are actually, a trumpet!” I passed him the right piece of equipment and he then began to take a look into my son’s throat (this time able to see).
He looks at my son “So….I think your Dad wants me to give you Antibiotics…… even though they’re not going to do much.” He turned to his computer, pressing on a few buttons till the prescription came out of the printer. He turned to my son, “Go to the printer and get the prescription for me.”
Now the printer wasn’t in another country that required a passport, it wasn’t even three bus stops away.
It wasn’t even in another room in the Doctors surgery! It was an inch away from his elbow. I quickly looked around the room to see, if I was being filmed for a Saturday night entertainment programme. You know the ones where they put your face in a little square at the bottom right of the TV Screen, as I watch and laugh at myself in the hope that after this, the TV presenter thanks me for being a good sport and sends me on a free holiday courtesy of “You’ve been made to look like a right twit on national television.”
But NO! I wasn’t even in the twilight zone….this, my friends was a real moment in time…he was actually a real life Doctor. Yep….in a surgery with a proper roof, walls and windows and a reception area with a real receptionist, in a real town with people made of flesh, it has real roads……and the sky was above us…..staying up in the air (not like in Chicken Licken)………. it was all real!
As this is the Easy Blend, I thought I’d let you know what I’m listening to. Today it’s Matt Nathanson – Come on get higher
You can find out more about my book ‘Farrago: Ten Tall Tales’ and buy it here…. (click on the cover)