Tools for the job….we all need them right? No matter what profession we’re in!
So it was late afternoon when I heard a knock at the door…….it’s one of my neighbours. As the door opens, I see he has a look on his face that tells me he doesn’t want to be knocking on my door……
“Neighbour…… how are you?”
“Dave, any chance I can borrow your long double ladders?”
There was a pause. Unbeknown to me and my neighbour, he suddenly had (unseen to the naked eye) a ZAPP of guilt from the guilt Gods above, who were clearly looking down on him because before I could even answer him, the story changed.
“Well in fact, Dave, it’s not for me…….would it be okay if my mother in-law borrowed your long double ladders please?”
Now I’ll be honest with you, my first thoughts were “they’re my ladders we’re talking about…..not the village bike, they’re not there for anyone to use.” But of course, I am a nice guy!
The neighbour started to explain the reason why the long double ladders were needed “What it is…… is that my mother in-law is having some painting done on her bungalow and the maintenance man (let me just write that again!) ‘THE MAINTENANCE MAN’ doesn’t have a set of ladders. In fact he also doesn’t have a van…..he only has a Motorcycle.”
Of course at this point my mind was bursting with so many images with what I was hearing, so my first question was “Does the maintenance man, at least have a roof rack on his helmet?”
I didn’t have an answer.
I looked in to my neighbours eyes, “So here we have a maintenance man that does small jobs and maintenance on peoples houses, with no van and no ladders……. and……. and he only rides a motorcycle?”
My brain could not compute this information.
My neighbour nodded ‘No!’ He then began to tell me more “It’s just he can’t reach the eves of the bungalow so that’s why he needs the ladders.”
You see, my lovely blog reader……back in my day, maintenance men always drove a van, with a roof rack and always had an array of ladders and tools. But of course, I was thankful that he’s a maintenance man and not a Brain Surgeon,
about to operate on someone using a pen knife from his key ring next to his car keys whilst texting his friend about the drunken evening out from the night before. As the patient lies on the operating table covered in a picnic blanket from the boot of his car which was last used in a dirty field after having a very messy picnic.
Yes I know what you’re thinking…… why does he need double ladders for a bungalow? Just how high is this bungalow? How could a maintenance man with no van and no ladders (who said yes to the job before anyone knew my ladders would be in the mix of all this craziness) need long double ladders for a bungalow? Would he reach the top of the ladders only to have an extension on the handle of the brush because he can’t reach the eves of the bungalow?
And as well as all of this and I’m not sure if any of you have experienced this (I know I have), but there’s nothing more embarrassing than carrying big long ladders through the streets where you live….. And, if you don’t believe me try it! I guarantee you will feel the world is watching and judging you, as you think that they’re thinking you’re up to no good!
I know what you’re thinking; of course our local window cleaner doesn’t have this problem because it’s part of his job. We as upstanding members of the community accept and will not look twice at a window cleaner carrying his ladders. But when you know it’s not part of your job to use ladders……well……you know and I know that there’s only 2 opportunities you can walk with ladders on your local streets, and that’s very early in the morning or late at night when there’s less people about. Just like my neighbour had to experience….all for the love of his mother in-law. So you see…….that roof rack on a motorcycle helmet doesn’t sound that stupid after all……does it?
As ever on the Easy Blend I’m listening to some great music, today it’s Kate Bush – Cloudbusting
You can find out more about my book ‘Farrago: Ten Tall Tales’ and buy it here…. (click on the cover)
Until the next Easy Blend blog………..
Stay warm and fuzzy……..