So……. the Blueberry Muffin…… well in my humble opinion I believe I have found ‘Thee Blueberry Muffin’ that tastes out of this world but in fact, is in this world and it’s in your grasp, not far from you now.
“Where is it you ask?” ……..just wait a minute or two.
I do love a cake! I’ve had some nice cakes in some nice places. I’ve even had a cheese cake in Time Square in New York and “YES” that was nice…. heavy though, it felt like I had eaten half of a New York Skyscraper (but that could have been the large steak I had eaten beforehand).
Firstly let’s talk about the big supermarket chain blueberry muffins. My opinion is they are not good! If you buy them in a pack of four with clear cellophane wrapping….well……there’s not going to be much difference between the muffins you just bought and the experience of you licking the end of your own boot or for the first time, and to be honest with you, the second time is just as bad.
They are mostly just some sort of sponge with something that resembles a….and I mean…”A” blueberry. It’s bland and dry; in fact they’ll be so dry that every single bit of moisture that is in your body will be sucked up….you’ll even feel the end of your toes starting to curl and shout out “STOP”.
Secondly let’s talk coffee shops; YES some of the muffins they sell are BIG, but are they nice? Don’t forget BIG isn’t always best. For starters, a blueberry muffin for me is about moisture, it must be moist, if it isn’t moist, it isn’t worth having. But sometimes you don’t know this until you have bitten in to it, then it’s too late…the damage is done, you’ve paid for the muffin and there’s no going back (always a bad position to be in), and if like me you’ll want to cry…..lots!
Yes the coffee shop muffin is wrapped nice and YES it’s big and a show off, as it carefully balances, looking pretty with the other blueberry muffins. It stares you out, putting you under pressure to buy the muffin over the other cakes (that’s how sly muffins can be, it’s what they do!).
Does it mean that a more expensive muffin is going to taste better? My opinion…..NO! I hear you asking “So what and where in the world is the best muffin in your opinion Dave?”
Finally the answer, believe it or not, for me it’s Lidl…that right Lidl!
And just to let you know I am not getting paid to praise their blueberry muffins (although…may the angel of Lidl’s speak to the heads of management around the boardroom table and shout out the name “Dave Frantony!!”
When I eat a blueberry muffin I want a surprise all over and inside. I want to feel like the ‘muffin maker’ has gone the extra mile to show they care about each and every muffin that’s made. I want them to love the muffin before I love the muffin; this will come through in every bite and the Lidl blueberry muffins delivers with every single mouthful.
It’s moist, it has sweet crunchy things on top that are out of this world, it’s got the juiciest gooey centre of blueberry that your
eyes will ever see, and it tastes like a homemade blueberry muffin that was cooked by your favourite auntie but times by 97.5!
I’ve bought them for friends, I stand in silence as their eyes pierce my very body with love; their face lights up whilst they go weak at the knees. The second time I bought one of my friends the very same blueberry muffin to his place of work, he said to me “I can’t eat this; I told my wife about them….I must go home, she has to be the one to taste the muffin!”
Like a man possessed he was in his car driving home, with a look on his face that I have never seen before (It frightened me!)
So there you have it, my humble opinion of how a blueberry muffin should be, and may you, in your life time, have the privilege to buy such a blueberry muffin and be lost in your own world and be as gooey as the centre of the very muffin you are eating!
As ever on the Easy Blend, I thought I’d let you know what I’m listening to. Today it’s Erasure – A Little Respect
You can find out more about my book ‘Farrago: Ten Tall Tales’ and buy it here…. (click on the cover)
Until the next Easy Blend blog………..
Stay warm and fuzzy……..